03. the time I got jazzy for dads.
Disclaimer: I’m pretty sure the following isn’t actually Jazz. I dunno what I’m talking about because what I’m talking about involves music theory, but what I do know is this: Notice all those little stickers on the picture of my keyboard you clicked on to get here? One of them is in the wrong place – which suggests I didn’t actually use a scale that is traditionally associated with the Jazz style, according to some google. So is it Jazz? Unsure, but it is if you want it to be. Cool.
Technicalities aside, this post is about the time I wrote a “Jazz-style” intro/theme tune for a podcast where dads talk about dad stuff, called Dadslife. The brief was a short theme song with Frank Sinatra’s “That’s Life” as the inspiration. I also used the Family Guy theme tune as inspiration and as a reference mix. Do I Jazz? Absolutely not. Do I sound like Frank, even a little? Nah. One hefty portion of Chris-making-it-up-as-he-goes-along, coming up.
So I embarked on this Jazz-tastic mission, despite being pretty sure Frank Sinatra is really swing. Step 1: Get the drums (some sort of brushy situation) and walking bass down – as that would lay down the style enough that everyone would at least recognise what I was going for. Turns out, you can’t learn Jazz drumming in an hour on YouTube, especially when you don’t even play drums. It’s like, hella complicated.
Thanks to lots of ear-related magic and moving midi bits around a screen from yours truly, as well as lots of drawing random beats out on pieces of paper, despair and a healthy dose of trying to drum two different rhythms with my fingers on the desk for a while, we got there. Sorta. Oh yeah, I also didn’t have a Jazz kit sound, so indie rock kit played softly it is.
Next up, walking bass. This was rather easier, as bass is just a guitar for people with hench fingers when all is said and done. No offence to my bass-loving friends, your instrument is badass, don’t @ me. It was meant to be four chords and for a while I thought it was until I tried to piano to it and I realised it was actually only two really. At this point I decided I was in too deep and well, fuck it.
Brass… happened. Jabbed about on the keyboard and we good. I also tried to add some piano/organ but this is where my Jazz skills, as well as my non-existent piano skills came unstuck. Cue more despair and a lot of moving stickers around my keyboard (yeah, I resorted to stickers, seriously) trying to work out what key I’d done this damn thing in and therefore what keys didn’t sound shit. This was when we realised the whole “it’s not really a Jazz scale” thing, but as previously mentioned – in too deep.
Vocals. Did what any good bedroom musician does and built a mattress fort, because not only is it harmless lockdown fun, it also helps to remove the sound of the room from your recordings, which is exactly what you need to be doing when you have no acoustic treatment whatsoever, thin floors and a whole kitchen’s-worth of appliances beneath you. But hey, if it’s good enough for Amy Winehouse & Mark Ronson, it’s good enough for me.
So there we are. One sort of Jazz thing created, by some guy who has no idea how to Jazz, and doesn’t actually play any of the instruments on the track. This was my first mastering experience too, and I’m actually pretty pleased by how that turned out as I think it sounds ok and I did identify some issues that I was able to fix, so that’s all lovely. You can hear the finished result below, and check out the Dadslife podcast for some dad-related shenanigans and to (hopefully soon) hear it in situ.
P.S. Is it me, or is the Soundcloud plugin a little nasty looking. Apologies.